How Can You Make Friends If You Are Shy:
Conversation Starters

How can you make friends if you are shy? It's SO HARD, right? Everyone knows how important it is to make friends - but sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when you first meet someone, especially if you are shy. Starting a conversation can be tough, and if you are standing in front of someone and can't get one going, you face looking idiotic, or worse, desperate.

A great conversation can lead to a fantastic relationship, whether you are trying to chat up that guy or gal you'd like to go on a date with, or whether you are simply trying to make some new friends for yourself. The most important part of starting up a good conversation is being sincere, so here is a list of great conversation starters you can use to get your new friendships (or relationship) off to a good beginning.

How can you make friends at school?

How can you make friends at school? School is one of the best places to meet your next best friend. The people you have classes with are the most likely candidates for your new friends. When you approach someone, you can say something like "What did you think of Mr. Thompson's class today?" If something funny happened, try "Wasn't it funny when…" or "Can you believe…."

If you don't understand something, asking someone else to clarify it can be a great way to start up a conversation. "Did you get what Mr. T was talking about? Because I didn't…" Of course, you can always complain about something school related, but be sure that you are being sincere about it. If you don't really think something is boring or something just isn't right, don't say so. You want to always be truthful when you are starting conversations, so your relationship can start out on a great note.

How can you make friends at church?

Church can be a great place to meet people as well. Try things like, "Are you coming to the youth event on Friday?" or "I haven't seen you in a while, have you felt okay?" You can talk about your faith, your happiness to be in such a great church or your interest in the day's service, such as, "Wasn't the pastor's sermon great today?" Anything that gives another person an opportunity to respond to your question or statement is possible.

Give yourself time to think about this before you get to church, too. Plan ahead. Maybe you have someone new in your congregation. You could say, "I really like the new youth group leader, don't you?" Remember, great conversation starters should lead to a discussion, and that could lead to a friendship, so questions can be a great way to go.

How can you make friends at various events?

When you are at a sports event or a music event, you can make friends easily. Even if a person doesn't live right in your neighborhood doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. With today's smartphones and social media access, online friendships and friendships that begin in person are just as valid as those right next door. If you want to know how you can make friends in this situation, just pay attention to what others are saying and doing. Many times, you can listen to others and follow their lead. They are likely to be talking about what is about to take place, the people they are about to encounter and/or current events.

In addition, you can say "Oh, have you heard that group's new CD? I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, how is it?" or, "I've never heard of them before, what do they sound like?" If you notice that someone is wearing a jersey or other type of item to support a team, you can ask them how their team is doing - or talk about the game if you happened to see it. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes easier, too.

When you are meeting new people, there are lots of great ways to start discussions. Just remember that there are some things you should avoid. Don't pretend to know a lot about a topic that you don't as this could get you into trouble quickly. All it takes is one wrong comment and you will be found out and you will lose your chance of having that friend forever.

Also, gossiping about someone that or spreading rumors (true or not) may be an easy way to start a conversation, but think about how that makes you to look to a person that you don't know. You don't want to come off as unkind, and you certainly don't want a reputation as a gossip, or worse, as a mean person.

How can you make friends, even if you are shy? The best way to make new friends is to make a good first impression. There are positive ways of starting conversations with the people you want to meet, so take the high road and you'll find it is easy to make new friends.