This is not a story about me and my bestfriends, but my struggles to find friends and to find myself. For a long time, I just wanted to belong. It was hard. People said I was annoying, weird, and different. In 7th grade, it finally changed; I was accepted by a group of girls. I was so happy I finally had friends, and even a best friend, or so I thought. The truth is, these girls were not true friends. They talked about people and me in so many negative ways. I would sit there and listen to their talk about how her outfit looks bad, and her hair is frizzy. I sat there and said nothing because, I was so happy that people liked me, I was afraid to chance it. But, then my "best friend" turned on me. She said that I said all these horrible things about my friends and her and how hurt she was. She really didn't understand the trouble she caused.
I remember one day all my friends one by one or two by two, came up to me saying they didn't think it was a good idea they should be friends with me anymore. I was so hurt. I came home crying sat home and watched movies.
Throughout the rest of the year, I was alone, my mom and the T.V became my best friends. Sometimes I still think about this it hurt me very much. In 8th grade, I found myself again, thank goodness.
Thanks to my teachers, my mom, my babysitter, and a great friend I found in science class. Whenever I saw evil, I would stick up say my peace. Because you are just as evil as the person is committing the sin and just sitting there allowing it to happen. They could listen and ignore, or find the wrongness their doing and stop. I learned this through my camp also. I found people who accepted me and all my weird, quirky ways.
In 9th grade, my current year I found my group of friends. In cheerleading, a lot of the upper classmen loved me, found me funny and befriended me. I think all walls were down, and I was not the weird girl anymore. Sometimes, I'm scared to death that will happen again but, with my friends I know it won't
happen. But, honestly it scares me, still.
2 years after the fact I forgave the girl who caused all of this. When I heard over and over again what I supposedly "said" I started believe that I was this cruel person who said those unbelievable things. But, through many people, I remembered that my momma raised this nice girl, who is honest. I looked in the mirror, and remembered who I was.
Through those couple of months I got very connected to God, and I thought of how much I was better off with ought them. I prayed that one day people would see me for the person, I truly was and it was never me saying those things.
Eventually, when the time was right, they saw the light. I was never happier. This girl who did cause those problems does cheerleading with me. To this day, she still has drama in her life, declaring how much she hates it (drama) when alas she is the one who starts it. I have forgiven this girl a thousand times, not for her but for me. I am nothing but nice and sincere when I am around her, and when I talk to her. And, unfortunately she still talks badly about me. And frankly I am alright with it in a way. I have never heard her personally say anything about me, and if and when I do, I will say my peace, but, until that day I say nothing about it.
People now see how this girl truly is, her true colors. She recently has had some drama, which was unfortunate. And for a moment, I hate to say it but, I was glad. I then remembered God, does not like us to pleasure and others misery. I do believe in Karma, and oh yes believe me, it is a terrible. I hope one day this girl will change and she can make a better life, socially for herself, because I know being alone, and having no friends, and not being accepted, it truly heartbreaking. But, I thought I would share this to maybe girls who were going through the same thing.
Agree or Disagree with my statements, I'm saying it loud and proud. I had mentioned my self in this story many times, because it truly happened. I hope this helps someone.